What is it about stormy nights that always draw out the contemplative nature in ourselves? Or perhaps I’ll blame it on Tegan and Sara, who I only recently discovered.
Who knew life would turn out like this? I’ve officially been graduated for 2 years now and still no path. I do however have so many fragmented scary pieces in my future. Wedding, moving and now this new development. The mister has a huge opportunity to do something he loves and caused us to decide he should quit his current full time job. Logically this makes sense so he can have more time to write and get said opportunity started. Emotionally is another question entirely. Its bad enough I can’t even admit to myself what I’m feeling, but now his parents are calling me to tell me I should be supportive. I am supportive. That doesn’t mean I’m not freaked the fuck out.
So many hows its making my head hurt.
I keep breaking down in tears for no reason at all. I’ve never been an emotional person. Hell, I work tech support. I should be used to being yelled at for nonsense all day. I feel like I can’t stop to think for two seconds otherwise I’ll have to take a breath and actually have to really think about what is going on.
I have to plan, keep making money, keep on track, keep smiling.